| Mario |
Mario is the mascot of Nintendo and appears regularly in Dorkly's and Lowbrow Studios' sketches. He is the brother of Luigi, the boyfriend (later fiancé) of Princess Peach, and ex-boyfriend of Pauline. He is friendly and has broken the fourth wall more than twice. He appears differently due to what Mario games are shown in the videos.
Personality[]
"You... son-of-a-bitch-a!"
-Mario responding angrily to Yoshi's taunts, from Why Yoshi Isn't Allowed in The Castle.
In the shorts, Mario often shifts from being a loving boyfriend and brother to both Princess Peach and Luigi respectively, to an absolute greedy jerk, without any regrets. These shifts make his actions in the shorts unpredictable.
In several shorts, he is shown to have a short temper, which is especially shown in Toad House is Rigged, where he threatens and later kills a Toad for scamming him out a Tanooki Suit, and in The Problem with Chain Chomps, where he yelled at Peach for insulting their new pet Chain Chomp due to her calling it "a poor sick animal which is nothing but ahead and kept in a chain", making Mario go into a rant about how the Chain Chomp wants their love (and their flesh). This temper was taken to violent levels in Mario Goes Berserk, where he murders all the enemies in his way and critically injures Bowser just to rescue Peach.
Whenever he feels guilty, he uses irrationality to get away from it. In Mario Meets a Real Tanooki, he feels guilty for the baby Tanooki, so he takes it in, only to snap its’ neck and use it for a suit.
He appears to be very defensive of his reputation as shown in Mario Meets His Biggest Fan, where he tried to convince a little boy that he was the real deal, and in Mario Messed up, after he accidentally stole all the 100 coins in World 1-1 that an elderly Koopa Troopa was going to use for her grandson's medical operation, he lied about his identity to prevent the old Koopa from figuring it out. In his first appearance, he, Luigi, and Toad peeked under Princess Peach's dress while she jumped across a bottomless pit, showing him as a pervert.
Mario is not, however, without morals. He criticized Frank Rizzoli for his shoddy hostage negotiation with Bowser in If Super Mario Bros. Had a Hostage Negotiator, was in horror upon learning he was a toy in The Terrible Truth About Smash Bros., and in If Mario Had a Battle Royale Mode, he was the only one who did not agree with the rules of Fortnite about killing each other, mourning both Luigi and Toad when they were eliminated and trying to reason with Peach that they were friends. Additionally, in Mario Messed Up, he feels horrible upon discovering the Koopa child had numerous terminal illnesses, forcing him to make a failed surgery for free as a doctor.
Interactions and Relationship[]
Luigi[]
Mario and Toad being seen pranking Luigi.
In some Dorkly shorts, Luigi And Mario’s relationship isn’t really a healthy relationship seen in If A Christmas Carol Starred Mario and Luigi and Jurassic Yoshi, where Mario usually treats Luigi as a tool or just ignores him. Though, in some shorts, their relationship is quite nice and friendly seen in It's A Wonderful Extra Life and If SEGA Owned Mario.
Status: Sibling rivalry
Yoshi[]
Yoshi and Mario switched places to see who's got the "easy job".
He does not have the healthiest relationship with his pal, Yoshi. The dinosaur understandably dislikes Mario's tendency to drop him into bottomless pits just to get across a gap safely, and for punching him in the back of the head. He even calls Mario a "motherfucker" for dropping into another pit in the appropriately named Yoshi Hates Mario. Mario also has problems with Yoshi, believing the latter has "the easy job" compared to him, leading to them switching places and causing Mario to see how hard it is to live like Yoshi. This negative part of their relationship is especially shown in Why Yoshi Isn't Allowed in The Castle, where Yoshi takes offense to Mario refusing to take him inside one of Bowser's castles, believing Mario doesn't see him as a partner, ignoring Mario's responses that he is just trying to keep Yoshi safe, and calls him both an idiot incapable of defending his girlfriend and "goomba" (in reference to an Italian slur). The latter insult earns Mario's ire and leads to the two fighting. It gets even worse in some other sketches, more recently in Yoshi Chokes, where after Mario starts choking on a fruit that Luigi made Yoshi spit out (he was choking on the same fruit earlier), he refuses to let Luigi help Mario, calling the latter a "dick", even though Mario was trying to help him earlier before giving up. Despite that, Yoshi does care about his "partner" in several sketches based around Yoshi's Island, where repeatedly defends Mario as a child despite the all the trouble it gets him into (leading to his divorce, the cops believing he was going to molest Mario, and having to hear Mario's annoying crying).
Status: Frenemies
Bowser[]
Mario's relationship with his nemesis Bowser also frequently changes, ranging from either friendly rivalry to outright hatred, with the latter leading to Bowser's relationship with his wife damaged. Mario also confirmed in Super Mario Make-Up Artist that he sometimes arranges for Bowser (claiming to be an anonymous caller) to kidnap Peach so he could "get laid" once he saves her. This "friendship" is shown by their Peach's Revenge counterparts, where Bowser stages Mario's death so the plumber could quit his numerous activities and relax. Their hostility though, is a whole 'nother story, as shown in several shorts such as Bowser's Weekend with the Kids (where Mario attacks Larry Koopa behind Bowser's shell, not batting an eye to the Koopa King's dismay), and Bowser Wants a Gun (where Bowser angrily forces his henchman Jerry the Koopa Troopa to create actual guns instead of Bill Blasters as revenge over Mario getting his Koopalings "killed").
Status: Enemies
Princess Peach[]
His relationship with Princess Peach is also complicated. In Mario's Ex, the Princess questions Mario's former relationship with his ex-girlfriend Pauline (Mario responding by pointing out how Pauline only made him climb a few ladders and jump over Donkey Kong compared to Peach, who made him go through eight worlds), which only got worse when a drunk Pauline claimed the two were on a break (forcing Mario to don his "Tanooki underwear" to escape). As mentioned above, Mario also looked under Peach's dress and even revealed he sometimes arranges for Peach to be kidnapped, just so he could "get laid" upon saving her. The positive elements of their relationships are shown in several other shorts such as Telltale Series Super Mario Bros., where Mario chooses to save Peach over Luigi from a horde of flesh-eating Dry Bones, much to his brother's annoyance, If Super Mario Bros. Had a Hostage Negotiator, Mario desperately ignored Frank's attempt to negotiate with Bowser to save Peach (which only got worse when Frank let Bowser have Peach due to believing he had more than one hostage), and in What Would Happen if Peach was Regular-Kidnapped, where Mario kills the Toad holding Peach hostage and tried to untie her. In If Bowser Dated Mario AND Peach, he got Peach to give Bowser a chance at a "Love Triangle".
Status: Married
Appearances[]
- Koopa Gets a Star
- Yoshi Hates Mario
- Mario 2 Pervert
- The Terrible Truth About Toad
- If Mario Piranha Plants Got Smart
- Mario Meets a Real Tanooki
- Mario & Bowser's Final Showdown
- If Videogame Bosses Were Actually Smart
- If Classic Games Had DLC
- Angry Sun Hates Mario
- Mario Can't Play the Warp Whistle
- Mario Chose the Wrong Pipe
- Mario Dumps Pauline
- Mario Goes Berserk
- Mario Goes Berserk (With Kindness)
- Mario Goes Down The Wrong Pipe
- Mario is a Furry
- Mario is a MONSTER
- Mario Meets His Biggest Fan
- Mario Meets With His Agent
- Mario Messed Up
- Mario Paint Torture
- Mario Responds to PETA
- Chargin' Chuck Gets Picked Last
- Mario vs. The Pokémon World
- Mario's Ex
- Donkey Kong Doesn't Back Down
- Mario’s Horrifying Discovery
- Mario’s Mushroom Mix-Up
- Mating Habits in the Mushroom Kingdom
- Ice World Problems
- If A Christmas Carol Starred Mario and Luigi
- If Bowser and Robotnik Switched Places
- If Bowser Dated Mario AND Peach
- Peach's Revenge: Finale
- If Mario & Sonic Swapped Sidekicks
- If Mario and Yoshi Switched Places
- If Mario Had a Battle Royale Mode
- If Mario Lived in Stardew Valley
- Regular Guiseppe, The Third Mario Bro
- If SEGA Owned Mario
- If Super Mario Bros. Had a Hostage Negotiator
- If Videogames Were 11% More Realistic
- If Videogames Were 22% More Realistic
- If Videogames Were 25% More Realistic
- If Videogame Henchmen Swapped Games
- Sheik Crashes Bachelor Party
- Super Mario Pick-Up Artist
- Super Mario Undertale (final appearance in 2016)
- It's A Wonderful Extra Life
- Jurassic Yoshi
- Telltale Games’ Super Mario Bros
- The Mario Bros. Go Halfsies
- The Problem with Chain Chomps
- The Terrible Truth About Smash Bros.
- Koopa Troopa Does Stand Up Comedy
- Toad House Is Rigged
- Lifeguard Mario
- Video Game Realtor (cameo)
- Luigi Wears Red
- What Really Happens When Mario Destroys Castles
- What Would Happen if Peach was Regular-Kidnapped
- Why Mario And Call Of Duty Are Basically The Same
- Why Mario Maker is Actually Torture
- Why Yoshi Isn't Allowed in The Castle
- Yoshi Chokes
- Boos Meet A Real Ghost
- Why Videogame Minions Switching Places Would Be Pure Chaos
- Power-Up Mix-Up (Part 1)
- Power-Up Mix-Up (Part 2)
- What Happens When Videogames Mix Up Their Power-Ups
- If Videogame Characters Could Break All The Rules
- Boos Man Up (cameo)
- What it's Like to be Possessed by Cappy (return appearance in 2018)
- Video Game Health Care Bill
- If Mario and Peach Switched Places
- Luigi Finally Snaps
- The Secret Reason Bowser Keeps Coming Back
- Video Game Hospital
- Mario ROM Hack
- Mario's Rare Item
- The Problem with Mario’s Celebrations
- Mario Gets A Portal Gun!
- Yoshi Evolutions
- Mario vs Pizza Tower
- If Bowser Had An Assistant
- If Mario Was Like Baldur's Gate!
- Videogame Trick-or-Treating
- Videogame Trick-or-Treating II: The Revenge
- Why Bullet Bill's Life Is a Living Hell
- The Real Problem with Mario's Warp Whistles
- Why Super Mario Bros is a Completionist Nightmare
- Mario's Shockingly Humiliating End! (dead)
- Social Distancing In Video Games
- Even More Social Distancing In Video Games
- Yet Even More Social Distancing In Video Games
- Somehow Even More Social Distancing In Video Games
- Maybe The Final Social Distancing In Video Games?
- WE STILL HAVE TO MAKE MORE SOCIAL DISTANCE IN VIDEO GAMES!!!
- The Smartest Video Games Bosses
- Bowser Is Stuck With His Kids, The Koopalings
- Mario Is Too Mainstream
- Tetris Reincarnated
- The Dark Secret About Mario Nintendo Hid From Everyone!
- Mario - Video Game Press Conference
- The Hidden Horror of Super Mario Bros. Wonder!
- Helldivers 2 Liberates Other Video Games!
- The Shocking Sexy Secret of the Piranha Plant
The gang in regular form.
Trivia[]
- In all of his appearances, Mario is always voiced by Clint Gage, making Mario the only character in the shorts whose voice actor always reprises his role.
- That said, in Lowbrow Studio's Sonic For Hire, he speaks in a deeper tone than his appearances in Dorkly and CollegeHumor.
- His appearance (taken from his in-game sprites) changes through the shorts. In the earliest skits, he used his design from Super Mario Bros., Donkey Kong, Mario Bros., and Super Mario World, but in newer shorts (as well as his very first appearance), he uses two fanmade sprites, one which looks incredibly similar to the one in the DS game Super Princess Peach, and the other looking like a combination of Super Mario World and Super Mario All-Stars, but with a different head. The latter would become his defining appearance in the shorts.
- According to himself in Mario's Origin, his father's name is "Mario Mario Sr." This means Mario's name in the Dorkly and Lowbrow continuities is "Mario Mario Jr."
- He is often referred to as Chef Boyardee.
Deaths[]
Like his friendly rival Sonic the Hedgehog, Mario has died in several sketches he had appeared in. He has died 20 times. (The Demise of Mario does not count, as it was just a dream Norm was having)
- Lifeguard Mario: Accidentally warped himself and numerous children in a pool to an ice world, freezing them all to death.
- Donkey Kong Doesn’t Back Down: Beaten up to a bloody paste by Donkey Kong.
- Mario Goes Down The Wrong Pipe: Attacked and seemingly devoured by a group of cannibal Toads.
- Mario's Mushroom Mix-Up: Ate too many Super Mushrooms and suffered a heart attack, losing a life.
- Boos Meet A Real Ghost: Eaten by Kevin the Ghost. Became a ghost himself.
- Bowser Wants a Gun: Shot to death by a Bullet Bill Cannon shooting actual bullets. His top half was gruesomely blown off.
- Mario Can't Play The Warp Whistle: Seemingly burned to death in the "Everything's On Fire, But You Can't Die" World. (plausible)
- The Problem With Chain Chomps: Devoured by "Chainy" the Chain Chomp alongside Princess Peach.
- Mario vs The Pokemon World: Attacked by Gastly.
- Peach's Revenge: Finale: Attacked and violently stabbed to death by Princess Peach after she learned Mario faked his death to move away from her and retire from his activities.
- Why Mario Maker Is Actually Torture: Killed three times in a row, first by an invisible block sending him plummeting to a bottomless pit, then crushed by a Chain Chomp, and finally entering a Warp Pipe in a room filled with spikes that cut him up and spread his gore around the screen.
- Mario Chose The Wrong Pipe: Killed twice in a row, first by being shot to death while to explain things to the couple whose house he accidentally broke into, and then shot again when he entered the pipe to their house again.
- Mario Gets Hard: Statue transformation ran off causing him to get hurt by all the enemies around him, turning him to Small Mario and losing a life.
- Yoshi Chokes: Chokes to death after Luigi accidentally makes Yoshi spit out the fruit he was choking on earlier on Mario's direction. They just leave him to die, turning him into a ghost.
- If Bowser and Robotnik Switched Places: Crushed by Robotnik's giant boulder.
- If Mario Piranha Plants Got Smart: A lone Piranha Plant set his cap on fire and then grew and proceeded to topple the pipe over into Mario's direction, crushing the plumber.
- The Hidden Horror of Super Mario Bros. Wonder!: Shot by a hunter while in elephant form.
Gallery[]
