His first priority is killing a plumber. His second is maintaining life on Earth.
(the short starts off with a big red Koopa Troopa and 3 small Koopa Troopas. A Green Koopa Troopa runs up to them)
Green Koopa: Guys! Mario just finished World 2-3 and he's heading this way!
Red Koopa: Alright boys, get ready! We're gonna show this plumber what Desert Level Koopas are made of!
(the koopa troopas start cheering)
Voice: YEAH LET'S ROAST THE FAT BASTARD 'TIL HIS SKIN PEELS OFF!
Red Koopa: Whoa what? Who said that? (dissapointed) Oh god, not now. (camera zooms out and a sun approaches them) Hey Eric! Hey man! What's up?
Eric (Angry Sun): Not much! We gonna chug this plumber's blood or what?!
Green Koopa: Oh he's off his Meds again.
Green Koopa: (nervously laughs) Nothing buddy, nothing! Hey, uhh listen why don't you just let us deal with Mario huh? You know. You just worry about sun stuff like; maintaining our climate and keeping our planet from floating off into space. Huh? Does that sound cool?
Eric: NO BRO! I'M DOIN' THIS! I'M GONNA TEAR HIS MOUSTACHE OFF AND SHOVE IT DOWN HIS WIN PIPE! THEN I'M GONNA SHIT FIRE ON HIS GRAVE!!! Then I'm gonna find his parents, kill them, shit on THEIR graves!
Green Koopa: Who hates Mario THAT much?
Eric: I DO! WE ALL DO!
(koopas get into conversation)
Red Koopa: Well I don't like him but uh...
Green Koopa: Well I kinda like him.
Eric: But he's ASKING for it! I mean don't you guys see?! He's always just walking around just, walking like he knows! I- I- (starts to calm down) I don't know I- I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm feeling.
Red Koopa: Eric listen. You have anger issues but you've also got real responsibillities. We NEED you to provide light, and heat, and-
Green Koopa: Keep us from dying in space.
Red Koopa: Right. So why don't we all calm down, find your pills, and-
(Mario come in and shoots a koopa shell at the koopas sending Eric angry again)
Eric: MARIO!!!! (chases Mario) MARIO I'M COMIN' FOR YA!!! I'M GONNA MOTHER F#$%&@*#@?^!!!!!
(Mario kicks a shell at Eric, defeating him. The Desert then becomes a snow cold desert)
Green Koopa: Well at least NOW we won't need to worry about sun burn! (laughs) I don't wanna die, Mike.